So I�m glad that�s not me. But here�s me�
I tried my best to get through the day. But it was hard. We had dress rehearsal today, and as I sang my solo (I was the first out of everyone.), I gauged my performance at one point off of the AM and Pav. Cody just stared, slack jawed, eyebrows raised. Trust me, it wasn�t in a good way.
It�s amazing that he can make me hate myself so much at certain points when I don�t give a rat�s ass what he thinks of me otherwise.
Leah and Jasmine did so much better than me. Off all the people I saw perform, only two didn�t get cheering� Hannah and I.
After I sang, no one made a sound. I blocked out what happened next, so maybe they did cheer, I don�t know.
Julia and Kate didn�t do I thing. Then, as I sat down next to Leah, they started yelling across the auditorium to her. �Leah, I love your voice!� �Leah, you�re amazing, I can�t wait till this is done so I can hear you!�
And she was amazing. When she was done, the auditorium was full of a thousand claps. When the swing choir melted out of the woodwork to step onto the stage, AM came up and gave Leah a squeeze, saying she�s amazing, then shoved past me.
God. That�s not everything. Nothing really went right for me today. Other stuff too that I don�t care to talk about.
And the Tyler thing? It�s stressing me out to no end. I keep telling myself to give him enough trust to touch my heart, but it�s put up those fucking walls again.