The way Kyle explained everything made perfect sense.
Not that I wanted it too. I leaned against the wall with him in the creeper-cave, thinking. I breathed in deep, he breathed in deep.
�What do you think?� I asked. �What are you thinking?� now that I write those words, they seem a bit rude, but I was honestly just wondering around.
I tore off a piece of beef jerky as he faced me. �I Don�t know�� he said slowly, choosing his words. �It�s just that� I don�t want ot see him hurt you the way I saw him hurt Ameila.� His eyes locked on mine about midway through this.
I opened my moth to tell him what I thought.
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Kay, let�s go back quick�
Shelbs wasn�t talking to Oscar, so they decided that I couldn�t talk to Tyler. Which wasn�t exactly fair, since Shelby had warned him that she wouldn�t talk to him if he didn�t show up on Sunday, which Tyler had in fact shown up for. Oh well, it wasn�t the end of the world.
I caught Kyle between third and fourth hour, or something bizarre like that. We were on the stairs, me on the way up, he on the way down. We passed; I smiled at him; he tugged a strand of my hair. Then I remembered my mission. I leaned over the stairwell and yelled Kyle�s name.
�What?� he asked.
�I need to talk to you later, about what you told me on, um, Thursday? Friday? No, Thursday.�
He frowned for a second, thinking, and then realization struck. He raised his eyebrows and nodded. �Catch me during lunch.� He told me. I nodded and sprinted to my next class.
I found Kyle during lunch, a slice of jerky in his hand, talking to a group of his friends. Tyler was hovering around the edges. I walked over, smiled at the group, took a piece of jerky from Kyle, and said �We have something important to discuss.�
He nodded, and said, �Let me lead you to my office.� His office ended up being the creeper cave, which he invited me to close the imaginary door to. After checking to see that no one of importance was w/in earshot, I turned to him. We both flopped against the wall, sighing.
He waited for me to speak first, so I weighed my words on my tongue before I spoke. They came out slowly, like a melting ice cube. �Why don�t you like Tyler?�
�Because he�s an Ass!� Kyle said immediately, then bit his lips, looking at me.
�Okay� but WHY? How so? Why do you think that?� I prompted.
�Well, it�s just�� he blew air out of his mouth, then tried again, presenting his case. �I don�t like the way he brags about you.�
I nodded. �Yeah. I�m not too big a fan of that either.�
�But like� I could forgive that.�
�� but there�s a �but�, right?�
�Yeah. BUT there�s this other stuff too.�
I took a deep breath, bracing myself. �Like what?�
�Like, Amelia?�
�Yeah?�
�She�s hurting.� He said, then scrambled for words. �But that shouldn�t influence you. At all. Ever.�
�Okay. I won�t let it.�
�Here�s the thing, though. Even when they were dating? He kinda hurt her. Like, emotionally. A lot. And she would tell me all this stuff and ask me �Do you think I should break up with him?� and I�d me like �Yeah, you know, I would if I were in your situation.� And well, the point being that��
Just then, Mathew wandered in. �Matt,� I said, �You have to leave. Right now.�
�Why?� he whined.
�Because, as we�ve already covered, I don�t talk to you. So you sure as hell don�t get to be part of this conversation, even if I did talk to you on a regular basis.�
He whined some more, so I moved forward and steered him out of the hall. �Please remove yourself from Kyle�s office.� I said, �locking� the door behind him.
�Continue,� I said, flopping against the wall next to Kyle.
�Okay.� He said. �The point is� I�m not going to stop this� thing� from happening. But I want to protect you. I want to make sure you�re safe, and I want to make sure you�re happy.� He looked up at me.
I leaned against the wall with him in that creeper-cave, thinking. I breathed in deep, he breathed in deep.
�What do you think?� I asked. �What are you thinking?� now that I write those words, they seem a bit rude, but I was honestly just wondering around.
I tore off a piece of beef jerky as he faced me. �I don�t know�� he said slowly, choosing his words. �It�s just that� I don�t want to see him hurt you the way I saw him hurt Amelia.� His eyes locked on mine about midway through this.
I nodded, pondering this.
�And I saw how much Cody hurt you, and I hated him for that. I don�t want to see anyone else hurt you.�
�I just don�t know.� I said, blowing air into my bangs so they lifted up. I chewed over my thoughts before I said anything. I thought about how I don�t want to shrink away from everything because I�m afraid of getting hurt. I thought about how I don�t want to waste my time getting hurt. I thought about how I don�t want to be in a relationship quite yet, and I thought about how I want to give it a run for it�s money.
Kyle was willing to wait, for about a full two minuets before I reached a mini-decision. �I think�� I began, then hesitated. �I think that� I want to try, but I want to feel happy. And so� I�d really appreciate it if you could help me if I need any help.�
�In a second. I�ll help you, teach you, mentor you� whatever it takes.�
�Thank you.� I said. And then the bell rang, so we hugged, and then went to our classes.
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All day today, our conversation has been running though my head. So has Leah�s situation with the Wall, which I won�t get into because it�s her business and not mine. All I want to say is that I want to kick both Wall and Orangutan-sheepdog in the balls and follow that second attack on the O-S with a kick to the jugular. (Which could, you know, be fatal. Not that I�d feel bad about that.)
People keep asking me what�s wrong and I keep saying it�s nothing, or keep saying I don�t really want to get into it. The second part is true. I don�t want to get into it. I don�t want to talk about this, and haven�t. right now? I haven�t even told Sophie. So you, D-land, and You, Rachel, get to be witness.
So that�s all. That�s all I�m going to say.
Quote of the day: �You ain�t a beauty, but hey you�re alright, and that�s alright by me.� From Thunder Road, by Bruce Springsteen. If you don�t know who that is, you aren�t someone I want to associate myself with. *
*Sorry. can you tell I�m in a bad mood? I�ll still associate with you. I still associate with the people who don�t know him, which is pretty close to blasphemy in my world.