�You never show me that you like me.� I�m telling him. �You never hold my hand, you never hug me, you never kiss me.�

His eyes are blue pools, deep and cold� he holds the sides of my face in his hands, touches his lips to mine, and says �Give me a second chance. Please Anna.�

Then I woke up, shaking. �Stop.� I whisper, staring at the ceiling. �Leave me alone.�

In the real world:

I�m right behind him in the line for the salad bar. I want to go to the other side, but it�s full, and moving slowly� so I stand next to him. I�m furiously stuffing lettuce onto my plate when I look up� and realize that the lettuce is for today�s meal: Hamburgers. There are no salad-making materials.

�Oops!� I say, turning red. �This is for the burgers, isn�t it?�

He smiles, laughing. �Yeah, silly. You can�t make a salad out of ketchup and mayo.�

Then he walks away. I grab my tray and run to my table, where I laugh about the lettuce, pretending Cody wasn�t there. I pretend myself into ease. I pretend that I am not humiliated, sad, and empty.

In Chorus:

He is laughing about one thing or another. My chorus partner Beth asked Bean something, and he turned her down, saying he wants to �make her suffer.� Typical boy.

�Don�t worry, Beth.� I say. �He�s being a guy. Guys are stupid. Okay?�

�Okay.� She says, quietly.

Later, Cody is laughing again. I�m so glad he�s having the fucking time of his life. Note my sarcasm. I feel my throat closing, and my eyes sting. I put my head on my chorus stand.

�Are you okay?� Beth asks. �You look tired.�

�No.� I say. �I�m just� um� really upset.�

�Oh?� She prods. �Why?�

�I�ll tell you later� you know, I don�t want to be overheard.�

She looks behind her, spots Cody. �Oh. I get it.�

He doesn�t look at me once, all class time.

One last thing: I still have the *present I bought him from D.C. for a souvenir/ Valentine�s day present. It keeps staring at me, like �What now?�

Quote of the day: �I really, really miss him.�

*It�s a spider-man+ Obama comic book, in which our loyal spidey saves Obama. Cody is a spider-man obsess-ie. I just couldn�t resist!