-Or Can It?

Fencing: full of constant reminders. Like the murals on the wall; huge feet, blood red.
Fencing is where I go so I don�t have to think about it! WHY, WHY, WHY???
(Although it has helped me improve: I see the footprints as Cody�s, so then I am filled with fresh anger towards TB, which I use to use much more force on my opponents.)

So my second option: escape into the world of books. Well, guess what? The book I am currently reading is all about this girl and her boyfriend, WHO IS ABUSED BY HIS DAD and then HE DIES. Seriously. If I owned this book, instead of the library owing it, I would burn it.

Also, today, during chorus, a girl that has a major thing for Cody flashed me the stink eye� ten minuets later, my nose starts gushing blood� so in the end, my Cody time was completely wasted as I tended to my nose in the bathroom, and I was at least five minuets late for class. She laughed at me later.

Now my phone call to Cody won�t go through� it seems as if the phone is switched off. Not busy. Not unanswered. Not the wrong number. Switched off. (Maybe I�m just paranoid. Oh God, I hope so.)

And as if the world has officially decided to kick me while I�m down, my infant cousin, born way premature, died today. WHY? WHY, WHY, WHY? Why do they always get better? Why do the doctors always tell you they might make it, and then they don�t?

So I guess it can always rain. And if they run out of water, I�m willing to share my tears.