I know I always used to. I know I fell way too fast for the Angry Mexican.

But once you get inside my head� really, really, really inside it, where I don�t let anybody� you can see that I�m putting up these walls. I�m putting up so many after him. All after him, I would get offers. Or at least options. I had so many chances. And I broke them all.

Somedays, I hate myself. I hate who he made me. I hate how he changed who I can trust, who I can let into my head. I hate myself for losing him. I hate myself for wanting him.

There are so many chances I could have given out. I don�t know if I ever put it online here, but there�s this song I wrote about him, saying that he wouldn�t let me in (because that�s how I thought it was), that he couldn�t fall in love. but that�s how I am right now. I�m terrified.

And so I�m building these castle walls, but Kyle keeps knocking them down. So I build three in front of him so he can�t find me, can�t break through, but he does anyway. I keep trying to seal him out because I don�t want to fall for him, but my walls are crumbling.

And it gets harder and harder to rebuild them again and again, cause I�m running out of bricks and I�m running out of mortar and I�m running out of energy.

And that petrifies me.
----------------------------------------

Song I wrote. About L&S and E&E and AM&ME

First Love Thing (By Anna-popcorn)
She�s staring at his picture
Smile playing on her lips
As she�s sitting shotgun
And I�m driving along

He asks me if she loves him
All he�s got to do is look
Any observer can see
That they are meant to be

(Chorus)
But it�s that first love thing
It�s the fist boy you kissed
It�s the first time for this
It�s the first time you�re
Terrified and happy both at once
It�s a love meant to be
Well that don�t always happen

He gives her all he�s got
Loves her for exactly who she is
He knows this is how it�s to be
Knows that she�s who he wants to see

And she�s changing who she is
Heart�s melting bit by bit
She�s blowing off her friends
Just so she can be with him

(Chorus)
But it�s that first love thing
It�s the fist boy you kissed
It�s the first time for this
It�s the first time you�re
Terrified and happy both at once
It�s a love meant to be
Well that don�t always happen

And one day he stops loving her
One day that boy changes his mind
And suddenly her heart breaks
And her world is at her feet

And her world is dark
Cause the sun and moon have left
His smile quits shining bright
She�s got nowhere to go without light

(Chorus)
cause it was that first love thing
It�s the fist boy she kissed
was the first time for this
It�s the first time she�s
Terrified and happy both at once
It�s a love meant to be
Well that just didn�t happen

Yeah yeah it�s just the first love thing
And she�ll learn from mistakes
He�ll be a better boy
And they�ll reopen their hearts
But things won�t be the same
(chorus)
Cause it wont be that first love thing
It�s not that fist sacred kiss
It�s not the first time for this
It�s not the first time she�s
Terrified and happy both at once
It�s a love meant to be
Well that don�t always happen

Yeah eah The first love thing
------------------------------------------------
Quote of the day: �Hey sixty three, what�s your number?� �Um� sixty three?�
Song of the day: Chicago by Kate Vogel