I just want to try.
(that would make a good song���.)
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And I thought about you today.
Cause I was writing that song I wrote about you on the board in Mr. Rose�s class, and I got it stuck in my head. The funniest thing is that it�s my most romantic song I�ve ever written, and I only like you as a friend. Mr. Rose suggested a different line in the refrain, and it was cute, but I�m not sure if it�s got the same meter I need.
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In other news��
I miss you, Rachel. I never get to see you anymore� :�(
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My journal entries are almost all a far, far cry from the prompts. I have �Do not read� written all over them. Cause I�m writing about HIM. (remember, I vowed not to refer to him as You anymore?) today� I�ll tell you what I wrote, because I don�t mind if you read it.
Let�s see�. Here�s a part of it.
{And I found myself going through my mp3 player, deleting songs, one after another. I was embarrassed, I was ashamed. I didn�t want him to look over my song list and� and what? What was I afraid of? Why was I ashamed of you, God? Why did I step away from you? Because the boy I loved is an atheist? My faith should have been stronger. My gospel hymns and God-fearing musicals should have become my anthems! I should have prayed to you to let him find you. But instead, I forgot you. I�m sorry God.
There�s so many should-haves when it comes to the Angry Mexican. But the if�s scare me. I�ve been running through ifs recently, since homecoming, actually. Would I be the same person if I had danced one hour longer with tyler? No. Would I be the same person if I had asked Cole to the dance? No. Would I be the same person if I had turned you down? The thing is, you made me a better and a worse person, in equal parts. Without you, I would never had tred out for swing choir (And made it). Without you, I never would have realized what I want in a man. Without you, I never would have tested my faith the way I did. Without you, I never would have had the guts to do as much musically as I have (Because YOU TOLD ME. You told me that it wasn�t fair to keep my voice to myself. YOU TOLD ME that I NEEDED to do solo-ensemble, pops, swing. You encouraged me so much.) Without you, I never would have written so many songs and found out how strong I truly am.
But without you, I wouldn�t have been so hurt. Without you, I wouldn�t have closed up. Without you, I would give these boys begging for my hand a chance. Without you, I would be happy with who I am. Without you, I would never have steeped away from God. I hate you for (however inadvertently) making me do that. I hate you for changing.
I love you for who you were. But I don�t know what kind of love this is anymore? }
�.. So that just about covers it.
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Quote of the day: and my diary, it's mostly about you. you and all about you.
and even now when you're gone, you still selfishly occupy my everything. ~myheavyheart
Bye, Anna
PS: the song mentioned above: (Which I would love to give to you, Rachel.)
I have just one thing to say
Before you give up today
Just hear me out and let yourself
Fall all the way
I love you I love you
I love you I love you
I love your hair
I love your eyes
I love your smile
I love you hands
And I love you
And you could be my Spiderman
And I could be Mary Jane
And you could be Tony
And I could be Maria
And you could be Romeo
And make me your Juliet
And we could fall in love
I love you I love you
I love you I love you
I love your voice
I love your music
I love your story, too
I love the way you make me laugh
And mostly I love you
And you could be my Spiderman
And I could be Mary Jane
And you could be Tony
And I could be Maria
And you could be Romeo
And make me your Juliet
And we could fall in love
I love you I love you
I love you I love you
I love your wrongs
I love your rights
I love how fast I fell
I love the way you take my hand
Baby I love you
And you could be my Spiderman
And I could be Mary Jane
And you could be Tony
And I could be Maria
And you could be Romeo
And make me your Juliet
And we could fall in love
Mr. Rose says to make the refrain: And you could be my Spiderman
And I could be Mary Jane
And you could be Clark Kent
And I could be Lois Lane
And you could be Romeo
And make me your Juliet
And we could fall in love
PPS: another Quote�� so amazing I had to clip it�. �but why would they want to go the moon? i ask why do humans want to go the moon?
if i ever made it to your heart, i'd never want to come back� it�ll be just like heaven� ~myheavyheart