And I get to sit back, and let it play out in front of me. Love�s a game, and we are the players. Sometimes you win, mostly you lose, but eventually, we�ll come to a tie. And so now, I�ve lost. And I just have to wait for my next chance. I have to convince myself that I�m not always the one to blame, even though that�s what�s been drilled into my brain for as long as I can remember. I�m used to taking the blame, wither or not I�m at fault. And I have to convince myself to stand up, because lying on the ground is when people kick you.

I hope she�s good for him. I hope she�s finally the right one, because if he comes crawling back to me, I won�t take him back: I can�t. God, do you know how much I still like him? A lot. But I have to move on, and that�s that. I can�t let him hurt me again.

And now I understand, but that doesn�t mean I�m not still mad. I still deserve an explanation. I deserved to know exactly WHY one second there�s this guy, and he�s exactly what I want, and he�s kind, and soft, and he�s playing with my emotions, and the next second, he�s ignoring me, not meeting my eyes. I could have dealt with it if he had come out and told me he had a girlfriend. I know I couldn�t deal with it (and still can�t) if he acts like nothing ever happened. And he SOO needs to know that. So feel free to pass along the message. Please. Let him know.

My sister�s saving up for a bass guitar. YEA!

Quote of the day: That makes me chuckle. ~MW

Song I�m Listening to: Forever and Always ~Taylor Swift

Mood I�m in: Proud. And afraid.