Can�t believe that you wrote in your first entry about how jealous you are of me and how much you love Cody and then gave the address to PAUL!
Can believe that he blew up at you� but now you two are going to the dance? In the same breath? WTF?...
Ok, Leah. Write your own diary. See if I care. Is it just so you can read mine? You know I read the diaries of anyone who gets a password from me, right? You are so dense sometimes. Or is it just because I have one? Oh, yep, that�s it. I hate you.
But I still refuse to get mad at the dance.
Even if you have A Date� �Paul the Wall� I soooo am not jealous, I hope you know. Also, I hope you know that I feel sorry for you� you�re so desperate to one-up me. That is so pathetic. Live your own life, not mine.
Speaking of dates� *sigh*
----------------------------------------
Poem I was working on all day today� stanza by stanza.
You hug THEM
And I can see from your face you don�t want to
But you suck it up
And hold them tight�
So why do you refuse to hold me?
I am at a crossroads
I can go either way
Don�t make me wait
Don�t twist me anymore
I�m so sick of being alone
I�ve given you three months of my life
100 days this Sunday.
I�m so lonely, you never hold me
Is it time for me to let go
I�m going to miss you
But I have to move on before
It�s too late.
I can see your face
And hold myself up
Then you smile and
Laugh and I hear
Your honey voice
And I feel my knees give out
Why do you do this to me?
Am I already stuck
In your blue blue eyes
Am I already lost
Even when you make me cry?
----------------------------------------
Mr. Political Wack-Job (Mr. PWJ from now on) was singing some song or another with my name in it today during class. Then when I was trying to do my holy-wow-this-thing-is-huge packet, he asked me �Anna, what�s new in your world?�
I guess I got a bit snippy. �Absolutely NOTHING.�
�No big trips planed?�
�No.�
�No big parties to attend?�
�No.� (well, except for the dance� two days away�)
�Nothing at all?�
(What is he, my counselor?) �Nope. Nothing at all.�
(At least, nothing as far as love-life goes.)
----------------------------------------
I turn into the hallway and you are there walking. You raise your eyebrows, then smile at me. You ask me �What�s new?� And I said �Nothing, well, except we�re playing hockey in gym and I keep plowing people over.� And You smiled (why, why, why?) and said �I heard there were quite a few injuries� You freshmen need to slow it down.�
I don�t know why this bugs me� perhaps the phrase �slow it down� if our relationship slows down, that makes it going about negative twenty miles per hour.
----------------------------------------
Summery of the day: kept crying. Piciah was totally flirting with me at my locker this morning, after he heard me talking to Jessie about how I am worried about Cody. �He never does anything with me anymore. He never holds my hand.� (Don�t ask me why I am so desperate for hand-holding� I just am.I almost started crying at the both of them.) any ways, then I accidentally hit him [Piciah] really hard in the shins during hockey in gym. Cody completely ignored me during chorus, but we ran into each other in the hallway, going the same direction, so we talked for a bit. I wrote poetry. I went home.
Quote of the day: ��and we pretend that she�s still my friend, and we pretend that I�m really smiling inside, and we pretend that there�s nothing wrong, no sir, and we pretend that we know nothing of what you speak, and we pretend that I really have it together, and now we can pretend that he still wants to be part of my life, and we can just keep pretending and faking it and keep pretending were not zombies and we can pretend that we�re still alive inside and we can waste away because we are too busy pretending to do anything else.� ~ Jonathan, from �Skipping Stone� (words Changed and Adapted for my own uses.)