I worked the concessions stand. Ha, it was a load of fun.

Leah now likes Paul, who �likes her�, apparently (I think her taste in guys has become absolutely terrible), but at least she won�t attempt to steal Cody from me.

Hmm� Leah has now met all of Paul�s family. I have met none of Cody�s family; unless that one lady that I kinda met at the meet where Cody broke his nose is his mom. If so, I think she, too, lost her taste in guys after Cody�s real Dad died.

I think it would be nice to meet his older brother and sister, and maybe the twins, too, though I kind of look at them as spoiled, since they are not abused. Which is illogical, I know. But that's the way it is.

In the end, the only reason I would ever want to meet Cody�s step-father is to use my rad fencing skills upon TB until he is paralyzed. (that way he can still work and bring in an income for the family, but he can�t hurt Cody, his brother, or his sister. This seems like a fair compromise if you ask me. After all, my happy dreams are of me & Cody & sword & stabbing TB.)

After we shut down the concession stand, my thoughts were wallowing in the sadness I feel when I think of Cody + TB. Paul (mentioned above) sat down with the group I was hanging with, and I turned to him and said �Do you know what Cody�s step-father looks like?�

�Uh, no, come to think of it, I don�t.� he said, his brow creasing.

�huh.� I said. �I just wanted to know�

�Why?� he asked.

�Because I hate that man with all the hating part of my heart. I would like to be able to put a face to the name.�

�why do you hate him?� Paul asks.

�Um, if you knew the reason I hated him, you would hate him too.� I hedge.

�I would hate him too?� He says, his face showing doubt.

�yes, you would.�

�do you mean because he beats Cody?�

My heart stops. �Because he beats Cody� because he beats Cody� he beats Cody�� The words sound so much more concrete, undeniable, when said out loud. They echo through my head. It is all I can do to answer Paul, who is looking at me expectantly.

�Yes.� I whisper.

�Haven�t you ever meet him?� Paul finally asks, (meaning TB, of course.)

�No, which makes it that much easier to hate him.� I say, matter of fact.

�How does it make hating him easier?� Paul asks, confused.

�How doesn�t it?� I question back, before Leah comes in and sits between us. Therefore, we can�t continue the conversation: Leah has no idea, and I intend to keep it that way.

So I�ll tell you how it makes it easier: You don�t have to think about it. You don�t have to know that anything�s beneath the outer shell. Anything, that is, other than coldness, and sickness, and evil-ness, and cruelty. You can hate him, because you don�t know the shades of gray inside of him, it�s black and white. Plain as day. I avoid judging almost anyone else in this way. Only the serial killers, the wife abusers, and Cody�s step-father get treated to my shallow judgment system.

Let me just say it now: I HATE TB. I HAVE NO REASON NOT TO HATE HIM, AND ONE HUGE, GIGANTIC, TITANIC REASON TO HATE HIM. I CAN�T SEE MYSELF FORGIVING THAT SICK CREATURE ANYTIME SOON, UNDERSTAND? Okay. So that is how I feel, just so everyone knows.

I have nothing else of interest, besides: Rachel, I hope you meet him again. And now that I put it in my magic (haha) diary, this wish will come true. So brace yourself. And be prepared to run into him again. This is a small area, after all.

Quote of the day: je tel dit que je t�amis?

(I�ll fill you in later.)