I have never before been so frustrated, depressed, and hopeless. I feel betrayed, by my family, my friends, my peers, and my comunity. I feel as if I can trust no one, and as if I cannot succed in any of my most risky, costly, and meaningful endevors. I feel as if nothing I do can change peoples minds on me, as if everything I've worked for has been torn away. I have little hope left, and little faith in myself. I want to tell my family and my school to go fuck themselves in big bold letters, perhaps spray painted accross a lawn, or painted on the windows, burned into the minds of the people who have made up their minds to make my team and myself miserable.�
�
I do not like this way I am feeling.
�
And I do not like that I feel trapped in these thoughts.�