I stop myself from rolling my eyes, since this would be, like, her tenth boyfriend, and the one she just started dating ten minuets after dumping Whinny.�
Because suddenly I wonder if maybe there's something to it, to loving as recklessly as she does.
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I did love Lucas. Which is why I need to explain this to you, why I need to explain this lack of devistaion.�
In truth, I never pretended that we were more than we really were; two hormonal teens desperate for love and attention and experiences, sure that we were in the right, living life to the fullest and all that bull shit i see people pretending to have every day.�
In truth, I never wanted to be.�
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The fact of the matter is, I've had that first love thing. I've found out what is is I need, what it is I love, what it is, period.�
And I've decided that I'm going to swear off relationships until I find that again. Because the truth? Is that I want to be happy. And in love, not because it's easy, or that's how it should be, or because a hottie got a hard on and told me he loved me.�
In love because it's hard, because I have to fight, because there's fire and passon in my soul, suddenly, and finally finally finally I've found someone I can love as intensly and as passionatly and as purely as I loved (still love) you.�
I'm sick of the bull shit. And I think it's time to finally grow up and take control of my life.�
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The goal this year? It's not "fall in love" or "lose my virginity" or snag the most poupular guy in school.�
And it's not find out who I am, because I've found her already.�
It's much less realistic, much harder for a girl like me to acheive: are you ready for my brillant, deep, impressive goal?�
Okay, here goes: a 3.7 gpa.�
I love you.�
Anna � �